Mytheri

in your research you mentioned that in heterosexual relationships, only 35% of husbands accept influence from wives and that without accepting influence the marriage has an 80% of imploding. Yet, even in unhappy marriages, women tend to accept influence more readily. What are some of the root causes of this imbalance between genders?

When there is a large imbalance in self-awareness, emotional regulation etc. between a couple, (e.g. differences in ratio of a partner who becomes emotionally dis-regulated, bids negatively, where the other partner is the recipient of this say 80% of the time), can you prevent resentment and or contempt from building? If so, how?

I attended one of your couples weekend workshop where you both shared (quite vulnerably) the big fight you had re: your daughter that led John to sleep on the couch. I could tell it was quite palpable and still emotional to everyone that witnessed it. How often do these types of big fights happen for you? Is this something that happens once a year, or more often? There have been numerous of these types of fights, averaging maybe once every two weeks. There doesn't seem to be resolution even when we try to talk about it, we seem to be unable to observe from the balcony stage. How can one cope with the frequency of this?

Can you say more about the individual being hurt by mean or contemptuous words? How treatable is that?

How does your teachings/philosophy for couples counseling differ from Susan Johnson's EFT or other schools of thought like Terry Real's relational life institute? Can you recommend how a couple can assess which method may be most effective for them?