MozartTheCat

In all seriousness tho...

I worked at an AT&T Wireless call center. Company owned, not outsourced. My biggest adversary was Authorized Retailers (Walmart, non-company owned cell phone stores, etc). Just to make the sale, they were constantly telling customers that we would do things that we literally were not able to do.

I worked in the Customer Relations (aka Cancellation) department, so I did have a little more wiggle room than regular customer service reps when it came to discounts, special plans, etc. But I still had company enforced limits.

The least of these offenses was shit like telling the customer that they could call customer service and we would waive their activation fee. Definitely NOT something they should be telling customers, but the activation fee was (if I recall correctly) $35 per line at the time, so as long as it wasn't 5 lines, it was something I was authorized to do.

One step up from that was telling customers shit like "call customer service and tell them that I authorized them to put a credit on your bill equal to your $200 early termination fee from your previous carrier". One, I was only authorized to credit up to $150 without involving a manager. Two, you don't even work for AT&T - you don't have the fucking authority to authorize any credits to their bill, much less a $200 credit.

The worst of these offenses was when they would tell customers shit like "don't tell them I told you, but they have a plan that's only $20/month and includes unlimited everything but they only give it to you if you call and threaten to cancel service". Oh god there were so many times that I (against company policy) called the god damn store that told them that and bitched them the fuck out. Number one, we don't have any fucking plans like that. Number two, even if we did, we aren't going to offer it to someone who just started service. If you want some obscenely cheap but valuable plan, you better have been already with us for a long time, been paying your bill on time every month, and not been on the cheapest damn plan available and calling for credits every other month.

Oh my god I hated authorized retailers so much

I thought the whole point of dogspotting was that it had to be a random dog encounter, ie not your dog or your families dog and not where it would be expected that you'd run into a dog (like at a dog park)

Like, literally shit on them? How do you translate this to childrens book?

Geese are all assholes anyway, I say we clip their wings and send them all to North Korea

When I had my cat put down at the vet, once she had the needle in and started injecting the fluid, my cat started kinda freaking out... not just crying, but licking at the air and stuff..