MoonLitCrystal

I honestly don't feel like I had a "reason" to start abusing opiates. When I say that I mean I didn't have a horrible childhood, I was never abused, I was not depressed. I had some medical issues and got them prescribed (but I don't blame my doctor). I liked that euphoric feeling, so I would take them recreationally on Friday nights. Then it turned into Friday and Saturday nights, etc. You get the idea. Thankfully I've been clean for about 6 years now.

I was terrified of the moment of death for my husband. He was on hospice and I had medicated him pretty heavily on a Sunday because he was anxious and agitated. (I followed the nurses instructions.) From Sunday until Tuesday he fell into a deep sleep, probably even a coma. Even though his eyes were half open he was not in any pain and he could not really respond to us. I know he could still hear because whenever anyone talked to him he would move his arms around. The nurse assured me there would be signs of discomfort if he experienced any, which he did not. At around 3 pm on Tuesday something told me to go in and check on him. I sat at the head of the bed and stroked his hair while talking softly reminding him of funny things we used to do when we first got together. I swear not even two minutes after I went in the room he took his last breath. It was so calm and peaceful that I didn’t realize that was “IT” until a minute or so later. He didn’t cry out, he didn’t move around at all, he just quit breathing. When I told the nurse about it she said it was one of the most peaceful deaths she’s ever seen or heard of. I am sad that you have to go so soon but I hope it is as peaceful and pain free as what I witnessed.