Meltingteeth

The other day I bought a pair of Premium Hanes socks. Within an hour of wearing them I found a buy one get one free deal on my favorite cereal. When you put some effort into your appearance, you really do get things for free.

Being better off in China was one thing, but fuck those kinds of values.

Story goes that she was in a Starbucks and saw Will Arnett being accosted by an especially creepy fan. She came over with her phone out and said there was a call for him. He was so thankful for the escape that he offered her a well-paying role in Bojack Horseman, and that's the story of how Will Arnett was saved by the Biel.

TL;DR: Reading that paragraph isn't worth the payoff.

In the fourth grade I was told by my after-school program to go to the media room and pick out a VHS tape for everyone to watch. I went in, looked through all of the Sesame Street, Veggie Tales, Princess movie horribleness and chose The Haunted Mask 1. I took it back and was admonished by my teacher for picking a movie that was too scary to watch. Just know that you were my source of inspiration when I wrote "Ms. Stevenson is a wuss" on the inside of one of the classroom cubbies later on.

Hollywood star turned clickbait proprietor. The dream.