Mayson023

I don't know why this made me laugh. How do you serve somebody food with contempt?

"Here we have a delicious dish that my my grandmother used to make me when I was in Italy and I'd be honored if you'd try it. You stupid little bitch"

I imagine that has to be awkward sometimes.

You're reading down the list on the phone. "let's see, what's next? Hmmm... Muffdiver6969 asked "Why are you such a dirty tramp?". "Do you want to answer that one?"

What's the most awkward question you've ever had to ask a celebrity?

I don't know, can you?

I applied 5 times to get into Helix Academy, but never heard back. Did you get my applications?

Luckily, I got into my safety school.

It was a week or two after my daughter was born and we were frazzled out of our minds from lack of sleep and at each others throats. We needed a night out. Badly.

We didn't have anyone to watch her and, as overprotective first time parents, we didn't want to leave her alone anyway. So we asked ourselves, "what can we do with a screaming baby?"

What are some of the things you can do while screaming? Sex, roller coaster, rave, Godzilla attack. Most of those things aren't appropriate for a newborn.

"I know!", we shouted in unison. "The drive-in movie theater is perfect!"

When we got there, we found that the only movie they were showing was Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I didn't know what that's about, and I did't care. Anything to get out of the house. "We'll take two tickets," I told the employee at the theater.

Thanks to you, Nick Stoller, my daughters first word was "Fuck" and, thanks to Jason Segel, she's now ruined as far as penises are concerned. No man will measure up to that thirty foot one she saw as an infant.