MamaBear4485

She's too smart for that! Keeping you a bit nervy kept you on your tiptoes.

See, you've always struck me as a powerful lady who lives life her own damned way and is probably a bit intimidating. Yet that comment makes me think your house is also a place where a friend could kick off their shoes, curl up on a comfy couch with a hot cuppa and spend the afternoon in hilarious and fascinating conversation.

I wanted to add my support of you speaking out about taboo subjects. Loss is a terrible thing no matter the circumstances and you guys have every reason to honour your precious Lexi.

I lost my husband to suicide and we chose as a family to break that taboo as well. There is no logical reason for these topics to be off-limits and great healing lies in talking about them. They are our beloveds, they lived their precious lives in their own special ways, and we will hold them in our hearts forever.

Your timing is perfect for me because I'm soon going into battle with an incredibly difficult personality over a family matter. I just ordered your hardcover and can't wait to read it.

Is there a different way to handle negotiations with a clinically narcissistic person who is severely controlling and abusive, has absolutely no empathy and is very adept at deflecting responsibility?

The biggest problem I think is that this person places his value on "winning" and prolonigng the drama, whereas my focus is on the young person at the centre of the negotiations including minimal fuss and muss. To him the youngster is expendable as long as he "wins".

I have struggled with feelings of shame and guilt about it. I genuinely believed for much of my life that it was somehow my fault.

Sweet lady, although some portions of society equate monetary success with "value", there are many others far more wise who consider other things infinitely more worthwhile. Things like survival against the odds, courage, endurance, compassion, hope in the face of the seemingly impossible, kindness, grace, tenacity. I could go on but I think you will understand what I am trying to say.

It takes immense power and courage to survive the experiences you have had. Resist the urge to criticise yourself for not being "perfect" in your survival, for that is a common lie abusers try to drum into the minds of their targets. There are those among us who have overcome the unimaginable and will always have to work harder than others just to function. Because it is almost unimaginable, some people in the same society don't have the ability to empathise or understand. that is their limitation and has nothing to do with your value.

Your story reminds me of Elizabeth Smart. The movie might not be something for you to watch but you might want to consider reaching out to her foundation.

If you are under medical/psychological care you may want to consult your care providers first but that's your call. You are a survivor and a hero. May you find peace.