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Maelshevek298 karma

Was it like an episode of The Office?

Maelshevek155 karma

Our marriage therapist had us do a communication thing where, after each person said something, we would say: “here’s what I heard”. This helped eliminate a lot of miscommunication. We also were told to state clearly: “I want X”. This eliminates ambiguity and ensures that we’re on the same page.

Lastly, staying on point and talking about things in bite sizes. If the conversation goes off topic, acknowledge what was said and request a return to the subject. Keeping talking points short allows the other person to understand more easily. It also allows them to say “I heard Z” faster / with less ambiguity.

“I” statements like “when this happens I FEEL” are also very important. Knowing how we feel and communicating that to others is just as important as the methods used. And this all took me years of learning and growing and practicing. I’m still maybe 50% there, but it’s made a big difference.

Maelshevek14 karma

The last place used bullying and intimidation to try to force change. Humiliation is a terrible tactic that ends up hurting people in the long term, along with a lack of proportional punishment. That was flat out abuse.

Nobody deserves what they did to you, because it was completely unjust.

We expect to be treated in a way that mirrors both our mistakes and good behavior.

Maelshevek4 karma

My wife has CP and uses a wheelchair, (and this is the question that I think a lot of people are afraid to ask but want to know about) so how does sexy time work for your relationships?

Maelshevek2 karma

What lead to your divorce? I would have thought that being free of Mormonism would have been a freeing and uniting event.