LittleMissLovely1709 karma2020-01-16 16:16:24 UTC
Victim here - I've both reported and not reported. The one I reported (the first one), I followed through to prosecution. I had to relive my experience in front of so many people and as a teenager, it was horrifying. Ultimately he was sentenced to a few years and supposed to register as an offender but somehow was released in 6 months and came out "looking for me" and making threats. That experience alone made sure that I did not report the second incidence.
I had to repeat everything to drs, therapists, a judge, a whole room full of dudes recording my deposition, my mom, my grandparents, my little brother, etc only for him to be set free with a slap on the wrist (he ended up not having to register).
Following through isn't as easy as you'd think. Especially not when it could further destroy your life (re: threats, etc) on top of the PTSD it causes.
Everyone likes to say they'd follow through if it were them but until you've gone through it (and I hope you never do), its not really fair to look down on a lack of cooperation.
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LittleMissLovely146 karma2020-01-16 16:18:01 UTC
this this this.
and heaven forbid you have friends with the attacker because "he doesn't seem like that kind of guy" and while people may believe you/side with you, they still interact with the attacker and you end up seeing them around in public places.
LittleMissLovely75 karma2020-01-16 18:45:31 UTC
For my second, I went to the hospital for a rape kit/drug test. Drug test popped for benzos. I struggled to recount the previous night because at a specific point, I simply didn't remember anything. "around 9pm, i remember x" turned into "maybe it was 9:30" turned into "I'm not positive of the exact timebut around 9ish?". I was out drinking with friends, I wasn't staring at my phone checking the time every few minutes.
Ultimately I begged to be released and go home because I felt so much shame and was struggling to be precise which made me feel like nobody believed a damn word I was saying. Everyone around me was condescending and I was there alone. I've heard the same story from so many others that it breaks my heart.
LittleMissLovely54 karma2020-01-16 19:39:58 UTC
I am so sorry you had to live through that. Nobody should have to do that. There should have absolutely been some sort of disciplinary action taken and the university failed to do their job in keeping you safe.
I hope karma came back around for him in some way.
LittleMissLovely26 karma2020-01-16 18:47:38 UTC
Holy shit. Thats....I literally have no words.
Was it dropped or did you face repercussions long term?
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