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KyleMcMahon246 karma

OMG don't feel embarrassed at all!

I totally understand that there are some people who kind of belittle grief over a pet. My advice is to find people that DONT do that. There are awesome grief groups for pet loss on Facebook as well as a subreddit right here at r/Petloss of people just like you & I that love our pets as we would our own children.

There is NO SHAME whatsoever in grieving a pet. My dog Blue, who I talk about in the series, has been a lifeline for me through my Grief Journey. He has been able to tell when I'm about to sob and immediately comes over & starts licking my face. It's truly incredible.

Grief, in my opinion, is grief, whether it's over a loved one with two legs or a loved one with four legs. Same rules apply <3

Edit: fixed the subreddit typo

KyleMcMahon204 karma

I personally feel that it's not our choice to tell someone else how they need to go. If someone is suffering with a chronic illness or is in a pain that has no way of getting better, is it not the compassionate thing to do if they have decided - in sound mind - that they want relief via MAiD? Hopefully, we as a society can get there.

Im not sure the specifics, but I do think that person should maybe be evaluated by a professional first, to make sure this isn't a temporary want or something that couldn't be more easily treated. The reason I say that is so someone who may have just gotten a chronic diagnosis or something like that, doesn't make a rash decision that they would have regretted later. Hope that makes sense.

KyleMcMahon144 karma

Hey Courtney! Thanks so much for asking this.

Look, there's no doubt about it, it can be very awkward when we contact or see someone who has lost someone they love, as we don't really know what to say. What I've learned is that, there is no rule book. Tell them you're sorry and you love and support them and ask what you can do.

Often times, at least for me, especially in the first few months, they may not say they need anything. If that's the case, find something you’re good at that they may need and do it. Make amazing sandwiches? Make a few days worth for them & drop it off. Going to the grocery store? Pick up some grocery staples you know they'd need and drop them off. You don't even have to go in. Shoot them a text, “hey I'm dropping off XYZ at your house, you don't have to come out, but just wanted you to know they're there.”

Literally anything like this is a huge help & it gives them the option to not have to physically engage if they don't feel up to it at that moment. <3

KyleMcMahon106 karma

Hey Phil! YES! The episode titled "The Nearing Death Experience" features Dr. Jan Holden, who has been studying near death experiences and after death communication for nearly 30 years at University of North Texas. I never realized how much science there was behind NDE's or AFC's until I spoke with her. She told me a story of a man she interviewed who had a dream soon after his Dad passed about a gun he had in his house. He even saw where it was in his dream. So he went to his parents house & found it in that exact place. Even his Mom didn't know about it. She also tells the story of a woman who had passed during surgery who was revived, but was able to tell her surgeon what was on the floor above her...The doctor checked and she was spot on!

This was fascinating to me and Dr Holden does an amazing job of being clear on what we have science on thats explainable, what we have science on that isn't explainable and what has a completely rational explanation.

KyleMcMahon74 karma

Hey Bokurai, I'm so so so so so sorry that you and your family and your Dad are going through this. There is no way around it & I'm not sure if I can curse here but it f*cking sucks. Really really bad.

  1. My advice is to let your Dad have his own journey. If he is of sound mind to make his own medical decisions, let him do so. Of course, offer your feelings and input, but ultimately, don't fight him on what he wants to do. Also, please PLEASE reach out to the incredible folks at https://pancan.org/contact-us/ if you haven't yet. They have INCREDIBLE resources, know all of the clinical trial information, and everything else you'd need. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do that like yesterday. Also, take too many photos! And too many videos! Just your Dad talking about whatever (life, you, your family, his childhood, his friends, all of it). Video all of it & email it to yourself & put it in 10 places. I have tons of photos and videos and voicemails of my Mom, but it's never enough. SO keep on taking them.
  2. Not really as I became kind of over obsessed with googling everything pancreatic cancer related. Like, to a fault. Which brings us to...
  3. I became obsessed with googling everything pancreatic cancer related for the entire time my Mom was on her pan can journey (nearly 3 years). I would search for things and I'd get a temporary relief in my anxiety, until I'd have another thought that came up & the entire cycle would repeat. Get informed on the information and walk away from Google for this. Also, kind of going with #1, I'd have not been so tough on my Mom with some of her medical decisions. I, of course, wanted my Mom to do every single thing there was to survive. But after almost 2 years of various chemo treatments, she certainly earned the right to say what she wanted to put her body through or what she didn't. That was unacceptable to me at the time. I had forgotten how important QUALITY of life is too.
  4. You didnt' give a 4th question but I have a fourth comment for you. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Mentally and physically. This is a really really rough road and your health, both mentally and physically, is vitally important. <3

Seriously, reach out if you ever need an ear