Kittii_Kat

I'll give this a shot:

In the last five years I..

• Finished my degree in Game Programming (or software engineering, but games were the focus)

• Worked with two indie studios for no pay, which both ended up not releasing the product, so I have nothing to show for it. They were something for the resume.

• Lost my cat to a stroke.

• Ended a 5.5yr relationship, it's okay, she was mentally abusive. Mostly because I couldn't land a job.. after I helped her land one straight out of college that paid $100k/yr (they picked her over me.. I ended up doing her work because she'd always come home with a bunch of problems she needed solved, so I'd spend hours every day helping her solve them.. I'm not bitter, honest.) Lost the other cat in the break-up.

• Found a real job after two years of applications. (One month after the break-up) Often getting told "we went with another person" in the final stage of the three month interview processes.

• Got diagnosed with sleep hypopnoea, and was put on a cpap.

• Played at a professional hearthstone tournament, because I'm good? I also got near last place because rng took a heavy shit on me.

• Returned to work on 30-hr weeks, so I was barely able to pay bills. Ended up super stressed and depressed, had to go on STL... again. While on STL they did company layoffs, and I was hit, so I lost my insurance.. so I lost my income and my cpap machine.

• Applied for more jobs.. regularly getting turned down at the last step again despite praise from the interviewers about how well I did on the code assessments..

• Moved back in with my dad, with an additional $7k of debt because of all the previously mentioned shit. (Needing to cover rent, food, medical bills, etc. Without income.. and somehow still not applicable for medicaid)

• Completed most of the final fantasy series. (Currently working through 12)

...fuck, these last five years have been rough.

Two in four weeks!? I'd love to have those numbers!

For clarification, between actively using a half dozen sites for nearly a year, I managed about 5-6 matches. Total.

This is the very question I came to ask.

As a person who has lived with MDD for the last 20 years, alongside anxiety and a touch of PTSD.. I can honestly say that I wouldn't wish this torment on anybody.

I've read statements from people who have suffered these mental illnesses, as well as serious bodily harm (losing limbs and stuff) and they attest that the mental illness is the worst thing they've had to deal with.

That said, seeing as all we can do is treat the illness and not cure it.. I am a strong advocate for allowing people to have assisted suicide as an option.

If it was available to me, I would have taken it years ago, and my suffering since that point could have been avoided. Instead I'm left with two options: continue suffering (pure torture), or kill myself.

The problem is that your natural instinct to survive kicks in. So killing yourself is pretty difficult to do, hence the need for assistance. Nobody is going to help though, because it's illegal and would ruin their lives.

So yes please, let it be an option, allow the tortured to have a way out if they decide it's not worth the life-long struggle.

I don't know why you wouldn't be able to kiss a girl. You're going to be blind, deaf, and mute. Not dead. You'll have some way to communicate figured out, I assume.

It might be a little tricky, but I bet you could even get laid before half of the people on reddit do. ;)

...Anyway, your condition sounds scary as hell, and I hope the best for you. I also fully expect to see you on here in like 6 years with a post like "Hey this is ____, the pinball wizard. I'm deaf, mute, and blind and just set the world record on Addams Family pinball. AMA"

"Do you play by sense of smell?" will be the top comment.

..If all of this seems rude, I apologize. Many people with disabilities end up using their situation to make awkward jokes. In my case, I tend to use dark humor related to mental illness, because I'm riddled with it. People missing arms or legs will say things like "Can you give me a hand?" Or "You've swept me off my feet!" Jokingly. For you.. maybe these types of quips can help make the whole thing suck a little less.

That's rough, but it's also how some people are.

If your S.O. can't handle being the #2 "most time spent with" thing in your life, they've got some growing to do on a personal level. It's quality, not quantity that counts, people!