JustAnotherGraySuit

Everybody poops.

There's a magic pipe in your house that takes your poop away.

That magic pipe meets up with a bunch of other pipes.

Some of those pipes connect to big treatment plants. Some of those pipes go into your water. And some pipes go into both at the same time, because a hundred or two hundred years ago nobody cared about that stuff.

The poop needs to stay out of the water. So does all the other stuff. There's a lot of steps to getting that out. At the end, you're left with lot of clean water, some 'floatables' you've collected, and a lot of liquidated, mostly-kinda-pretty-much-cleaned-up poop and other things. Think of it as chocolate milk, but a bit smellier.

There's still a whole lot of water in there. Because it's hard to transport that smelly chocolate milk, you've got to squish the poop into cake. Now you have cake and water. If someone offers you cake around the main office, DO NOT ACCEPT THE CAKE. THE CAKE REALLY IS A LIE!

So that's why we squish the poop. We even have some guys that go all across the country, squishing poop for people. Well, and beer leftovers. And fish guts. And in one memorable occasion I hope I never, ever get to repeat personally, pulped chicken parts that ended up coating one engineer from head to toe.

But mostly poop.

Mike, I work for a company that squishes poop. I would have thought squishing poop is easy, but it turns out it's more complicated than it sounds.

Sometimes we do beer and stuff, but usually it's poop.

Would you be interested in squishing poop with me or one of the other guys here?

Edit: Figured I'd ask since if you're doing a Baltimore Somebody's Got To Do It, you could stop by while you're in the area.

---

Edit 2: Since a bunch of people asked, I've gotten tentative approval for a group AMA with our poop squishing experts right before Thanksgiving. Everybody can find out what's going to happen to their Thanksgiving dinner after they're done with it.

I've also been told there will be lots of cake. This makes me nervous.

I'm a total amateur in poop squishing. We have some serious experts around here with a ton more experience than I've got.

Edit: Ohhhhh boy. It turns out that some of our engineers Reddit. I shouldn't be surprised about that. And now they know my Reddit username. This can't possibly end well. They've said they're willing to do a poop squishing AMA though.

How much pressure can our Senators and Representatives really bring to bear on the FCC and their deliberations? And how much can the public really push the legislature to bring what pressure they have to bear on the FCC?

They write the laws.

If the /u/StruckingFuggle Wants Internet Act of 2014 states "Commercial ISPs shall be classified as a Title II telecommunications service", then they're Title II.

Whoa, good catch! Do you work in the wastewater industry?

We actually make some really neat sludge presses, help people tune them for exactly what they want to squish, figure out the best way to polymerize and flocculate the effluent, and come back if they have any problems. They're really neat because they're pretty much self-maintaining, which means the operators don't have to do stuff like take apart a giant filter mechanism that's covered in poop to replace it with a fresh one.

I think they're probably in favor of that.

Personally, I'm a generalist. I organize stuff, fix computers (Need a website? The server it runs on? The network it talks through? The fiber and Cat5 cable that carries the traffic? Done, done, done and done.), figure out how to get stuff where it needs to go, and learn how poop squishing works so I can help out with that too.