JesteroftheApocalyps

I can't leave Trader Joe's without buying a Hazelnut Ritter Sport. My kids want me to share, but when I see them spit out the hazelnuts, I get so angry, I snatch it all back and tell them, "If you can't eat it right, then don't ask for it!" (Yes, I'm a Chocolate Hitler!)

Whoah, whoah whoah. They aren't shitty. They just do not yet understand the value of the taste of hazelnuts yet. C'mon, man a 4-year old and an 8-year old. They will learn when they see me and my 12-year old gobble it all down like Agustus Gloop right in front of them!

I lived in Japan for a year and was surprised to learn that they don't teach about Pearl Harbor in Japanese schools. They just say "the war started because the US was intentionally choking off their food and resources and we didn't have a choice." (Which of course is utter bullshit. We simply stopped selling them stuff.)

But when I told them about the sneak attack, my Japanese friends were like, "Are you making this up? Because I've never heard of this."

Wait . . . So you're a cable company buying landline bandwidth? How does that work? Or does AT+T own the cable infrastructure in that area?

I've been to Saigon about 50 times. I've met tons of ARVN vets who are still nostalgic, bitter at Hanoi, and wish the US would come back and do something.

But of course a lot of these guys are drunk old men sitting in the tea shops and muttering stuff to each other.