JerrySaltz

Don't go to a museum with a destination. Museums are wormholes to other worlds. There are ecstasy machines. Follow your eyes to wherever they lead you, stop, get very quiet, and the world should being to change for you. And if you see me, say something! We can talk about it together.

I didn't say it was bad that we talked about art. I said Banksy is a bad artist. In your heart you know I'm right. But I love that we all talked about art together. More, more -- but not Banksy, please.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art is the greatest, encyclopedic museum on Earth. Sorry, Louvre, your architecture is stupid, and everyone gets lost there. At The Met, you see art within 25 feet of the door. At the Louvre, you've got to walk a half-mile. Fix this.

Auctions make me sick. I can't stand them. They're ruining the art world. They change the conversation from art to money, from quality to quantities, and now those quantities are mass quantities. Hey did you ever notice the word tities is in quantities?

The Francis Bacon is completely predictable. A middle-brow painting by a middle-brow painter painting another middle-brow painter.

You ARE the future of art criticism, yo!

Grow. A. Pair.

Never JUSt write enthusiastic reviews, or ONLY negative reviews, or two lines of snark: BE OPIONATED. Or die. Really. There is NO money in what we do. Do you know what that means? It means that you have NOTHING to lose! You are armed and dangerous, man. Now get out there; cover the artists and gallerists of YOUR generation! Now! And write reviews in fucking English, will you, for fuck's sake! I have NO idea what most of the stuff in Artforum is saying. No one does.