Jennibearrrr

It's a fantastic excuse to get a semicolon tattoo which I plan on getting as soon as!

Yeah sorry I'm not trans, think I might have worded the title better!

I would say I am happier although I am under no illusions that if I didn't get the surgery I wouldn't be here to have this AMA!

I'm currently on some pretty strong antidepressants and anti anxiety meds as I had trouble dealing with the long recovery time and needing an second surgery that had me pretty touch and go for a week or so but I don't think I'll be on them long term once I am fully used to dealing with the ileostomy and can do more for myself.

I am ridiculously happy that I no longer go to bed terrified that I won't wake up in the morning as I was so bad that I knew I was always at risk of my intestines rupturing and getting peritonitis which meant I wouldn't wake up and I'm also really glad I no longer need any immunosuppressants for the time being as the surgery seems to have me in remission now for the first time in 8 years!

Lastly I'm really happy now that I can rest easy knowing I will be around (hopefully) for a very long time and can enjoy finally getting to do everything I've ever wanted to but been too sick for and being here to spend as much time as I can with my family, friends and my other half!

It's basically like a porridge consistency when I've been having a good day eating, however just now it's mostly a brown watery liquid which I empty into the toilet. It can change colour with what I've ate too which is funny... Although I did end up calling my doctor in a panic when I ate beetroot and though I had a bleed!

Hey friend! I'm really sorry to hear you aren't keeping too well, I hope you're going to have a speedy recovery and a really long remission!!

I have been offered the surgery from day one when I was 13 and diagnosed as they knew from my colonoscopies that I was severely scarred and ulcerated... I however was a stubborn little shite and refused it until I'd basically had every licensed crohns medication/injection/infusion available and even a trial drug called humira! The only reason I had to have surgery was because I knew I didn't have other options left and without the surgery id get worse and worse until I ended up with peritonitis.

My crohns was most active throughout the whole of my large intestines apart from my rectum, there was so much scarring that during my surgery my surgeon said they fell apart in his hands as he was taking them out... Oopsies!

I actually feel like a whole different person now I've had surgery, I won't lie, the first few days are miserable at the time but I was so out of it on pain meds I actually don't remember the worst of it and I've heard most people are the same way. The ileostomy is weird at first cos I was scared to look at it but once I did I realised I'd been silly and that it actually wasn't scary at all, it tickles sometimes! Within the next 3 months I've been told to expect to feel 80% back to normal but I've not had "normal" in 8 years so it's pretty awesome not being in pain like I was before, now my only pain is a healing pain which is a lot more easy to deal with.