JacquiePoho

I want to thank you for sharing your story. I signed up for reddit today, (I am an occasional lurker) only to respond to your story.

You are an incredible writer and I urge you to consider doing more of it; whatever the genre. I travelled with you on the horrific journey which you describe so poignantly. I travelled every step of way; on the edge of my seat, tears in my eyes, cheering and rallying for you, imagining how you were feeling, and what you must have been thinking. There are few author's I've read that have transported me the way your words did. My heart aches for you, for Jamie, those with you that night, and for all who are impacted by this senseless tragedy.

While I realize your trauma may never fully heal, you are well on your way, and I applaud your openness and willingness to share your emotions. The authenticity and genuineness are incredibly palpable and shine through in your writing. I couldn't help but feel connected to you, even though we are worlds apart. I laughed when you talked about boot whiskey, I caught my breath each time you hit a road block, and each time you had to assess the safety of a location - no-one should have to do that. I was incredibly touched when you suggested someone send you a bill for the lights you had to smash. You are a good and noble person. You have reminded me that life can change in an instant, and I am so sorry you had to endure the torture of that night.

It is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. I am headed out to share Thanksgiving dinner with family, and I feel incredibly fortunate. Tonight, I will raise a glass to you, to yours, and to all those impacted. I wish you peace of mind in the days and weeks to come. I hope you consider writing more, whether on this topic or another. You have a gift.

I only just read, lower down in this thread, that you are Canadian - is that correct? BC, right? Where?

I bet today is hard, being alone, without Jamie. I wonder how she is doing at work. It seems really early to return to work, but maybe that is what is needed. Some sense of normalcy? What kind of dogs do you have? I'm home alone with my two dogs today too, but I'm not sitting with the experience you currently sit with. My husband went on the last fly fishing trip of the season this morning. I chose to stay home, he went with a few friends. We are avid fly fishers, southern Alberta, close to the BC border. Such beautiful country.

I appreciate that you might not be able to go back to that writing zone. I can't imagine you'd ever want to, but I'll say it again, it was incredibly moving to read. Interesting that your Dad is an author.

I'm glad you recorded a debrief of sorts and I hope it contributed to the healing.

I'm in Calgary, born and raised as well. Kudos for heading down to LA at 19! How exciting! I also know Jaffray quite well, we've done some fly fishing in that area. We spend most summer weekends south of the Crowsnest Pass, and in Fernie. There was indeed a huge dump of snow out that way, we were south of Beaver Mines and left the day before the big dump. It is surreal to think you were calling family, that your Dad heard on sattelite, we are often out of range in that area. I can't imagine the terror of the entire situation for you being there, and for your family. I can't begin to understand what you are all going through. I'm so sorry. I wish you all as much peace of mind as you can find.

Oh, Chief and Dixie - gorgeous dogs, great names! Dogs feel our energy, right? I'm so glad they are there to comfort you both. We have a Golden Retriever, and a Golden Bernese Mountain dog cross, (the boutique name is, "Golden Mountain Dog" a fabulously fancy name for a mutt, albeit an amazing mutt) they are the loves of our lives.

Do what feels right. If you 'nope' out of that gym, you do. Trust your instincts, do what feels best. You have lots of healing to do, but you are doing it! One step at a time.

Peace and love to you and yours.