JWAlumni

Yeah, it wasn't all bad.

I can only speak for myself (but I've heard other EXJW echoing this sentiment): I hated it, for two reasons.

1) I felt like an outcast at school. I was lucky to have classmates that didn't bully me at school for being a JW, so there was mainly pity. But of course you felt stupid when you were the only one not congratulating someone on their birthday. You stood with the rest of the class silent while they sang the song. And when I had birthdays I politely thanked them for their well-wishing, but I wasn't really allowed to accept it. It also meant that I was neither allowed to attend a birthday party nor host one myself.

2) Especially Christmas was tough because I knew I would be returning to school and everybody would be talking about the presents they got. Although I had loving parents I always felt like a dick on Christmas eve knowing what was going on in other families. I loved Christmas as a kid because of all the lights and the glitter and stuff. Now, I love celebrating Christmas with my girlfriend. We always get a tree and make a big deal of Christmas :)

I could have just told the Elders that I didn't want to be a Jehovah's Witness anymore, but that would've meant openly saying that I am not a Jehovah's Witness anymore, and I didn't have the courage. I knew that me being disfellowshipped would break the hearts of my parents no matter what, but I knew also that having a son being an unbeliever, not only a sinner, would've killed them. So I committed the sin of "fornication", ie. sleeping with a woman I wasn't married to. I had to stand in front of judicial committee (a tribunal of local Elders), confess to my sin and then refused to repent – therefore I was disfellowshipped and have been shunned ever since by family and friends. Committing a sin is something that can happen, and at that point I wasn't even sure I wouldn't return some day.

Disclosure: I edited the comment after other EXJW rightfully pointed out that my comments on apostasy were misleading. I have edited the comment to clarify this. Thank you!

This really depends on the country, I guess. If you're in the US you have much more freedom to restrict people entering your property. But here's something you could do: The next time JWs call at your door, open and tell them to make a note that you do not wish to be called again, and they should make sure you are not called at again, otherwise you will call the police. Make a note yourself of time and date, ask for their names (they won't give it to you but it will illustrate the gravity of your request). This should normally help because we were advised not to call at people who had firmly asked not be called anymore.

That is actually a tough question. I love your intentions, and the way you handled it is quite good and subtle. I would advise to continue down that path, because a direct confrontation would probably set them off completely.

And yes, I agree, they are destroying a whole generation of young men and women. Over at /r/exjw there are so many tragic accounts of young people who gave up every possibility of higher education or another kind of career to serve. It's heartbreaking.