One thing to add is that I would advise you to talk about what’s next. My husband passed away from pancreatic cancer 10 months ago. We had a 3 year old and I had just given birth 5 days prior to his passing (after his doctors told us that I’d need to be induced early for him to see the baby). He was diagnosed three days after my positive pregnancy test and he passed five days after the birth. Our lives have been a shitshow for the last two years.
Our journey lasted 8 months from diagnosis to passing. I wish we had talked about what to do after he passed but we couldn’t bring ourselves to do it. I didn’t know what he wanted for a burial vs. cremation. I didn’t know what kind of service. Oh and his life insurance went half to me and half to our daughter, which has been so difficult with the legal guardianship crap. That’s not what he would have wanted. It cost $4,000 just to claim that money on our daughters behalf and I can’t use it towards expenses for her whatsoever. And our son will have nothing from his father.
Anyway, it’s hard, but ask what your loved one wants just in case just so you know. And make sure there’s a will and that it makes sense. He didn’t have a will and there were a lot of assets and I didn’t know how to do anything with the money or the bills. I had to learn as I sat alongside him for three weeks in the hospital at the end. If you do the hard thing now, they can rest easier that everything will be okay and you’ll know that you’re doing the right thing for them.
IrisUnicornCorn41 karma
One thing to add is that I would advise you to talk about what’s next. My husband passed away from pancreatic cancer 10 months ago. We had a 3 year old and I had just given birth 5 days prior to his passing (after his doctors told us that I’d need to be induced early for him to see the baby). He was diagnosed three days after my positive pregnancy test and he passed five days after the birth. Our lives have been a shitshow for the last two years.
Our journey lasted 8 months from diagnosis to passing. I wish we had talked about what to do after he passed but we couldn’t bring ourselves to do it. I didn’t know what he wanted for a burial vs. cremation. I didn’t know what kind of service. Oh and his life insurance went half to me and half to our daughter, which has been so difficult with the legal guardianship crap. That’s not what he would have wanted. It cost $4,000 just to claim that money on our daughters behalf and I can’t use it towards expenses for her whatsoever. And our son will have nothing from his father.
Anyway, it’s hard, but ask what your loved one wants just in case just so you know. And make sure there’s a will and that it makes sense. He didn’t have a will and there were a lot of assets and I didn’t know how to do anything with the money or the bills. I had to learn as I sat alongside him for three weeks in the hospital at the end. If you do the hard thing now, they can rest easier that everything will be okay and you’ll know that you’re doing the right thing for them.
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