IncognitoHandJive

All the time. In that situation we usually ask the family what they would like us to tell them. Sometimes we tell them their husband/son/wife/daughter is at work, staying with so and so for the weekend, ect. And sometimes the family will say for us to tell them the truth. You have to be delicate with your choice of words when doing that. It's not easy.

Yes! Not all of them, though. Some of them their dementia is more of a behavioral thing and their memory is still somewhat there. At least to the point that they would know if I did that. But others don't remember what happened 30 seconds ago and will crack up at the same joke over and over again.

Yes. In the beginning stages of the illness it is often hidden. Mostly because the individual doesn't understand what is happening to them as it is happening. One of the very first signs is they lose their sense of smell. So if BettyJean next door suddenly starts burning the cookies each time she bakes, tell her she might want to go pay a visit to her doctor. And to how quickly it can effect someone is almist always different. But from what I've seen, once they hit a certain point, it happens quickly. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not easy.

50s I think. "presenile dementia"

It is a thankless job so it means so much to me to hear that. I am often dealing with angry family members but I have to know not to take it personally. Their loved one is usually no wheres close to being who they used to be. Both physically and mentally. So a lot of the time I know tge anger is really just the stress and frustration of having a loved one go through that. And often times we feel a sense of shame and guilt when we put a loved one in a facility rather than keeping them at home and that can come out as anger. If you ever have to put a loved one in a facility, shop around. Find a facility that you're comfortable with and one that is appropriate for their needs. If they need a nursing home, don't go to an ALF. And of they only need and ALF, do not go to a nursing home. But remember, there is going to be an adjustment period for both you and your loved one.