IamNotPersephone

Some Hmong clans have a tradition of ritual bridal kidnapping, too, and it happens in America. I live in an area with a relatively high population of Hmong and a couple of my friends were kidnapped into marriage, both while still in high school. One left her “husband” and tried to return to her parent’s house, only to be faced with huge pressure to go back to him. She chose homelessness, but is now college educated, married to a man of her choice, with four kids. The other stayed with her husband. She did finish high school, but she never went to college. She also has four kids. She and her husband seem to barely tolerate each other.

These weren’t reported to the police, either. The consensus among the community is that this is a social, internal problem and not one to involve the authorities. Which is awful; several years ago, there was a woman murdered along with her three children by her husband while she was trying to leave him. Rumor had it that she was also a kidnapped bride.

It could be anything. The girl I knew who stayed with her husband, she was living with her husband but told all of her white friends that they were engaged. They were married in Hmong custom, but took a couple months to get married legally in America.

But, there’s also the tradition of arranged marriages. She could have been presented with a fait accompli one day. Her parents just informing her of who she’s marrying, with little to no say in the matter.