IW_SavageRoadhouse

That is a completely apt description, when the bullets start flying the adrenaline kicks in and even though in a deep level you know you're in danger it's not something you have time to process. Once the adrenaline started to subside a few hours later, only then were we able to being to acknowledge just what happened.

Keep in mind, we had zero idea if there was a single shooter or multiple. The echo, reverb, bounce of the bullets made it extremely hard to echo-locate. I wrote a lot of this down in the first IMGUR link https://imgur.com/gallery/KKfSp but I get it if no one reads it, it's a long read.

If you watch a lot of different videos from concert goers though, you'll realize that they stayed put for 5-10 mins into the shooting inside the venue. Staying put and debating 'is that even gun fire?'. From >300 yards away, for those who haven't found themselves in that situation or at least watched body cam footage from Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria or other. It wouldn't necessarily being recognizable.

During the 3rd volley is when we hit the ground, where I jumped on top of the girls. There were only 2 moments in the event where I thought about dying. This was the first, and I thought to myself "Well if I'm going to die, this isn't the worst way to do it...attempting to shield friends". Later in the night we got trapped in a small hotel room and there was a surge in panic that a shooter was entering the lobby. Once trapped there, the second thought was "This is going to be a shit way to die, I don't want to die like this. Sitting ducks, fish in a barrel"

It's the topic du jour during and after these events isn't it. in the last 2 pages of my account that I wrote down https://imgur.com/gallery/KKfSp you'll find that I did get my hands on a small 9mm pistol.

Here's the thing though, rightwing, leftwing. I think everyone should think for themselves and use their best judgement. I don't believe in following a party and agreeing with everything they stand for. I lean left, my mom is a lesbian, I'm from Canada and I work in the video game industry. However, there are lots of things on the right side of the spectrum that I agree with as well.

To get to your question though, I think there is ton of misinformation on both sides of the gun control debate. The silencer debate is silly in my somewhat un-educated mind. To my knowledge they're more for the hearing quality of the shooter, but the gun fire is still loud as fuck. Furthermore it doesn't benefit the range, accuracy or heat of the barrel so it's an argument on both sides that is full of half truths, somewhat flawed logic and this is a very divided nation.

I hope for gun control that can regulate the industry tighter. I think there are a lot of gun control laws that are completely laughable that anyone can bypass. A lot of half measures and nonsense.

At the same time, I've taken a few pistol and rifle classes. I'm not a marksman, I barely would say that I'm trained. I also enjoy the rare ocassion going out to the desert here in California and firing off some rifles at tamarack or shotgunning skeet.

So..that was a long winded response to your question that I kind of skirted around. It's a tough issue. I know for comparable 1st world nations, the number of people murdered by guns is much higher in the states than elsewhere. I don't have the answers, I can't point out whats right or wrong. And I'll be honest, I'm not someone that people should look to for guidance because I'm not a professional nor have I done extensive scientific reading on the subject. I would love to read hard peer reviewed scientific papers that can point us all in the right direction.

I'll leave the talking heads on TV and youtube to do their thing, but on all sides they're mostly full of shit and pandering to their position/base.

Thank you for your kind words.

We will be seeking therapy, luckily my job has pretty quality insurance coverage that we're both under. Going to make some calls tomorrow to track down someone semi-local that has experience with these types of heavy trauma incidents.

For us, we're experiencing every emotion on the spectrum, there and back again. It's part of the process and we tell each other, what you're feeling is fine. What you're feeling is natural. Take a moment to acknowledge how you feel.

A lot of my friends who made it out are dealing with things in their own way. Some are shut down, others are talking openly. There's no correct timeline for this I don't think. Just as long as we deal and heal in a time that works for each of us individually.

We all had different, unique experiences to say the least. We all saw very different things too.

Our hearts ache, for those who were hit, those who were lost and their loved ones. Jamie and I have been together for 5.5 years and are extremely close.

Oddly enough, just a week prior we were doing our usual frugal date night where we pour some stiff drinks, head to our apartment hot tub and just talk. We had a deep conversation and I told her unprompted that if anything were to ever happen to me, if I were to die. That I would want her to grieve, I would want her to be with her family. Then in time, once she has healed I want her to find another to hold her and love her and be her best friend. This conversation flashed in my head a few times during the chaos of the initial 15 mins.

On the therapy front though, this...writing it all down helps a bit.

I understand the position and how some may find it ironic, I get it I really do. I won't be one to say it though. Country music fans, are easy to put into a box of white republican, gun toting, budweiser drinking hillbillies. And to a point...that's very true.

But it's the music that brings us all together, I lean left on the spectrum. I don't agree with everything a single party puts out, we should make up our own mind. But to my point, the music is a community. I was dancing arm and arm with my friend who was wearing a trump top and MAGA hat. I have my own very different political views but it isn't important, we were there together to share an experience.

People can politicize it all they want and point out ironies. I get it, it's part of a large discussion. I don't particularly want to get into that just yet, and when I do it will be a personal conversation with close friends and family. :)

A friend messaged me last night, I felt it pertinent info to help put another puzzle pieces together. He's not ready yet to talk about it or write it down.

He was a bud that was the last to be confirmed alive, we were receiving phone calls and texts from his close friends and family until the early hours of the morning. We just had no way to confirm.

Anyways, without further ado.

https://imgur.com/Ej5AgSY