Drew Goddard

You actually can't look directly at him. You have to punch a hole in a shoebox like with eclipses.

Every single day I tell Lionsgate to start manufacturing collapsible coffee mug bongs. Please help me and call them nonstop until this happens. Tell them Drew sent you.

Every time he writes a new line, he screams, "Daddy did it again!" and then spikes a football at me.

We actually were going to do a downloadable L4D2 expansion pack, where you'd fight in the Cabin world, but then MGM went bankrupt so the delay squashed it. But the people at Valve were still cool enough to let us use some of their monsters to fill the cubes in the background (I had a lot of cubes to fill.)

Okay.

By the way -- the game was gonna be amazing. You were gonna be able to play in both the upstairs "Cabin in the Woods" world and the downstairs "facility" world with all the monsters. Believe me, I HATE all video games based on movies, they always suck, but porting Cabin into Left For Dead felt like the right fit. It pains me that it didn't happen.

It's super annoying, I'm not gonna lie. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know what a football is. He yells things like "Three pointer!" and "Hole in one!"

Sure.

They're sexy.

Do you work for HBO or Showtime? Because if so, sold. Let's do it.