HeThinksIStillCare

"If you only had a left hand, it would get lonely. Same with feet." :)

The 5 year olds I mentioned are now 18. I've dealt with both. I've always talked very honestly to my kids about drugs and alcohol. Thankfully, neither are big drinkers. But the one does enjoy his recreational drug use as much as I've said I disapproved. For the most part, this means he likes to smoke pot and try as I might, I just can't seem to care about pot smoking as long as the rest of his life is in order.

However, having said that, there was one night where he came home having tried acid and for some reason, it was making him very sick. He could have lied to me about why he was puking so much but instead he was honest, because he was kind of scared. He was leaning over a trash can when he told me and he held out his hand to me. While most of me was really upset with him for what he'd done, there was no way I was going to tell him that at that moment. I just stood next to him and held his hand until the vomiting ceased. And kept a really close eye on him that night. I haven't checked on him like that since he was a baby and had a really bad flu. And I waited until the next day to discuss it with him. The only positive I gleaned from the entire experience is this : He told me I was the one person he wanted at the moment that he was so afraid of what was happening. Because he knew he could tell me the truth and trust me to help him and take care of him and save the lecture for when he was sober enough to understand me. He never tried acid again.

So I said all that to say : If you keep a continuous open line of communication with your kids, they'll know they can talk to you and more importantly, they will.

Hi Hank. I'm a huge fan of all of your work. Thank you for doing this.

1. What was the biggest surprise for you in becoming a father? The "Wow. I never would have thought that could happen." moment. And

B. What is the one lesson you're already concerning yourself with teaching your child? As in, "I've got to figure out a way to discuss __________ with my child one day. How am I going to explain this?" For me, it was trying to explain to my then-5-year-old-twins what a terrorist was and why the attacks in NY, PA and DC took place. I'll take the birds and the bees talk over that talk any day of the week.