Highest Rated Comments


GwenBD94501 karma

*THIS* Is why we are vocal about our identity. Not to try to shove acceptance down peoples' throats. But to educate. We want to give people a window into our lives, to gain a new perspective. Every person who can come at the issue from a different angle of understanding, is a person who is Open to Learn. That's the goal my friend.

GwenBD94323 karma

Be prepared for a very very very awkward experience! I came out after I had gone through it all but I have talked to servicememebrs who came in for the brief period it was allowed.

There are *NO* special treatments for them for being trans. They're gonna share a bedroom with 40 other recruits (either male or female, based off their legally recorded gender), and shower in open-bay showers with 20 other recruits.

Be ready for whatever comes with that

GwenBD94227 karma

Specific accommodations for me different than anyone else, other than specific care requirements (Gave me HRT, non-trans person who doesn't want HRT didn't get HRT, etc) have been nearly none. The only one I can think of is a closer line of communication with my Chain of Command, because they want to be supportive and so want me to reach out to them. Not to say anyone couldn't get this if they wanted. Most Command Master Chiefs (highest ranking enlisted person in a self-dependent command) have an open-door policy, and will talk to anyone who comes in with any issue. I'd have to say it might not be normal to have a CMC willing to meet with a potential gain (new servicemember transferring to their command) a month and a half before their reporting to work for them, but mine did.

Outside of this, the only specific accommodations I have received that have been non-standard relating to my trans identity is getting pulled out of work along with 1 other trans servicemember at my command for a 1 on 1 private hour long meeting with my Commanding Officer and our Independent Duty Hospital Corpsman the day of President Trump's out of the blue tweet to check on our mental health. Neither of us had seen or heard any info on the tweet prior to that mental health checkup with our CO.

Specific accommodations I have received un-related to my my trans identity have been much moreso. Accommodations based on my level of knowledge, skill, and value to the command. I was once water-taxi'd on a civilian water-taxi service at 4AM to meet my ship that had been underway for 2 days already, so they could have me onboard after a leave period to help pass an inspection they failed while I was on leave. I excel in administrative work (which is a big weakness for many military members) and was granted a cross-departmental transfer out of my job to another department to work in an administrative position where I was better suited.

GwenBD94215 karma

So I realized I was trans in early 2013, while still in initial training, and while it was still under the early Obama-Era rules and not allowed. I vocalized my realization to a close group of internet friends, and followed it up immediately with "and I'm going to not pursue this for 20 years, because the military job, the benefits it grants me now and in future if i retire, etc., are all more important to me at this moment" Then I dissociated, packed it in a box, and let it sit in a dark hole in the back of my head for years afterwards.

After failing out of Nuke School, and going to the fleet as a rate I was not prepared for and spending 3 and a half years on a ship, I had planned to separate at my 6 year mark, after my first tour and all sea-duty time. It became more important to me to live authentically than pursue the job I had in the Navy, to the point I was willing to give up the "cushy shoreduty" life I had heard from all the senior folks. When the change in policy came around, and it started looking like I would be allowed to serve authentically I re-enlisted for another 4 years, and decided it was worth pursuing. That lead to some of the best and worst times of my career in the year immediately following.

When the Trump policy shift came about, the biggest culture shift was in a confusion from all those who wanted to help, not being clear on how to help, or the process moving forward. For many of us who had been in the process for a year or two or three, the subsequent changes in policy reset our timers to day 0 multiple times, and kept moving the goalposts on how to access care. And that's if you were blessed enough to be in the "excepted" group allowed to access care without being discharged.

Really, the biggest shifts for me personally were in dealing with the curveballs and the negative effect on my mental health (which everyone in the military service is familiar with!) it caused. That's something any servicemember can empathize with.

Others I know have had much worse experiences than me so I won't speak to the culture shift for them, but for me I didn't experience any major cultural changes in my immediate vicinity in service, moreso online and in popular media.

GwenBD94180 karma

so much this! "we don't know what do do, but hey, treat everyone with common human decency and carry on awaiting further orders!" That's the military motto.