Gerpgorp

A trucker died doing that in Enumclaw, WA.

Edit: Oopsy! It was a boeing engineer - you'd think he would have done the math... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case

I rarely snow.

Then you don't put them in a roller bag that you know may be required to be checked. Couriers should know that!

Also, Alex Chilton and Jay Reatard...

Why didn't you use hijacked?

It would have been a more obvious and less distracting metaphor and we could all get down to the good work you do with your furry business.