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Frewte8 karma

Can you give me any advice?? As a veteran I've been to the VA for the past 5 years on and off. In and out of psych wards. I've been on about 20 to 25 different medications. Two different suicide attempts. I've tried to seek care through civilian Healthcare and they keep telling me I'm better off going back to the VA. After one suicide attempt I begged to not get sent to the VA and that's where the civilian hospital forced me to go. I was cooperative as well but they said the cops would have to come in if I kept refusing to go the VA. I was requesting a civilian psych ward in Marquette as well. I was trying for help just not the VA. Now I quit my medication in April slowly tapered off and now my mental health problems mainly extreme panic attacks and anxiety are coming back. I'm so sick of being stuck in that circle at the VA I'm scared to go back.. Do I have options better than the VA at my disposal?? I'm located in the Upper Peninsula.