Highest Rated Comments

FoxPee197 karma

I'd be happy to contribute as well, if you're interested in the perspective of someone who had 0 clue what to do after high school, eventually got a degree at 29 (and becoming a mom of 2 in the process), currently working as a federal contractor in tech. :)

FoxPee22 karma

Glad to hear it! This is a very cool thing you're doing!

FoxPee15 karma

Obviously not OP, but I can share my experience. My mother married an American and we moved to the US from Germany when I was 13 (now 25 and still living here). My father and most of my family is still in Germany, and we talk on a regular basis. I spoke no English when we moved here, and we only spoke German in the house (my stepdad was stationed in Germany for 7 years so he was near fluent then too).

I can't even tell you when exactly the switch happened, but by the time I was in high school--2 years later--we spoke almost exclusively English at home, most likely because my mother had a hard time teaching my younger siblings (the oldest of them was 5 when we moved here and lost all his German pretty quickly). My brother (2 years younger) and I were teenagers who didn't want to be "different" so we both prioritized learning the language--I was out of ESL classes within a year and spoke accent-free to the point where nobody believed I was foreign in high school.

As an adult, German is a lot more difficult for me. I've got no problem listening to it or reading it, but ask me what the German word for x is and it takes me a minute sometimes. The grammar is still easy for me, but I forget words a lot and end up second guessing myself. This has a lot to do with not being regularly exposed to it anymore (my mother and I only sometimes speak German and while I still talk to my relatives, it's once a month or so) because whenever I visit Germany, I pick it up without any issues.

My experience is, of course, a lot different from OP's. My mother thinks she didn't handle it well because she succumbed to speaking English for convenience, and I was a lot younger than OP when we moved. I get how it happens though, I have a 2-year-old now and have every intention of raising him multilingual, but staying consistent with it when your partner doesn't speak the language is difficult. As for the thinking... I don't think in words and can't remember ever having done so, so I can't answer that one. I've asked my mother this, and she says it switches back and forth for her, depending on what she's doing.

This is a lot longer than I thought it would be, but I hope it helps, haha.

FoxPee10 karma

You get why stories like OPs are important to tell because she deals with this kind of bullshit?

FoxPee9 karma

Thanks for the attention! That's all I wanted!