FortyFs

And, judging by that photo alone, a pretty good Keanu Reeves impersonator.

Uwe Boll could have done a better job.

Eh... let's not get too crazy, now.

Do me a favor and start the Demetri Martin podcast with this question:

What the fuck, man?

He'll know what you mean.

Instead of a bell between classes, an ominous voice would come on the PA:

The narwhal bacons at midnight.

I think this would be more appropriate.