EBYRWA

Are you apart of any communities consisting primarily of adults with an intersex condition?

Thanks for the AMA. I really enjoyed reading the questions and responses. I am father to a boy who was born with an imperforate anus. He required surgery immediately after birth and several others later to create a recital opening. He has a routine now where he has decent bowl control, but he will always requires a catheter to use the pee, and enemas for pooping. There is also a risk that he will be unable to have children, and at best his birth defect has his body ejaculating semen into his bladder, so at the least he will need to extract it and use artificial insemination to have children.

As his dad, we are always open with him about his health. We can’t explain why he was born differently, but we do not chastise him for needing different care. He gets answers for any of his questions, and we explain that most people have something different about their bodies. His difference is just more unique. Had I been your dad, I would’ve done the same. Christians are quick to Psalm 139:13 but often fail to unconditionally love those born different.

I am sorry that your circumstances did not leave you with the same support. Being intersex is a challenge by itself, but feeling demonized, embarrassed, and isolated is only an unnecessary burden of pain. My message to you is to remember that you are unique and your health, both physically and mentally, is no less important. Just like my son, my wish for you is to find love and happiness in life, and to be surrounded by people who want the same. Don’t let the scars of your past relationships let you believe you deserve any less. God bless.

I am assuming you are male. Take your scrotum an examine the middle. Notice it had a seam. Those would’ve been your vulva had you not produced testosterone.