DumbOldGuy25 karma2010-11-15 21:13:23 UTC
My deepest and most sincere condolences go out to your and your family for your loss.
As a father who lost a 3.5 yo daughter to cancer (rhabdomyosarcoma), i have some understanding of your loss. As hard as that was to watch my kid go through, I always thought it would be harder for the parents of older terminal kids, as there is no getting around the death conversation (something i never had to have with my young daughter).
Trying to have the death conversation with her older brother was a distinct turning point in his life at 5 yo (in the same year he found out there was no santa, and really bad random shit can happen to anyone at anytime).
How did you make out being able to address the life/death thing with your boy and his siblings?
btw, the first year is brutal, then after than it gets a little easier but their presence never goes away, its hard to find the fine line between holding them in a place of happiness in your heart, and sobbing from the memories. I myself cut people way more slack now as you never know if the sad/sour people you run into each day haven't just been kicked in the balls by life.
Thanks for doing the IAmA, that was brave of you.
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DumbOldGuy14 karma2010-11-15 21:44:56 UTC
There is nothing cowardly about what you have done to support and remember your son. One of the hardest things for me was to accept the help from others when needed as I didn't want to feel weak in front of my kid who is going through way worse. As a parent, it was a relief somewhat when my kids eventually saw me as a normal human and not a superman.
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