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DuelOstrich1 karma

I’m not entirely sure if answering personal questions was the intended outcome of this AMA, but here it goes.

My dad died last year (senior year of HS) after battling cancer and heart issues for most of my life. Other than his physical health, he had some pretty serious mental health issues as well as drug addiction problems. Consequently, I lost out on a lot of your average “father son” moments and the things he could have taught me. I am often slammed by these thoughts, realizing how much I have missed and how I so desperately wish he could have been healthy in order to be like all the dads of my friends. I try not to dwell in these thoughts and think to myself, “well shit, this really sucks but there’s nothing anyone will ever be able to do to change this, and no matter how much I think about it, it will never feel better”, so I lock that up until something triggers more of those feelings. I often feel that I would be in a much better place, both mentally and just generally in life if I had a healthy father for at least some memorable part of my childhood.

I understand that this is not a substitute for counseling and I still see a therapist, but I tend to focus on different issues because once again, what’s the point in dwelling on these things if nothing will ever be able to change the past? My question to you, is this a healthy way of dealing with loss? Is it progressive in any manor, or am I just complicating the process by trying to ignore these thoughts?

Thank you for all that you do!