DragonToothGarden

That just utterly broke my heart. Imagine a probably 19ish year old who prior to the war was enjoying life like any other kid and suddenly is tossed into the meatgrinder. To be haunted so much by having to kill an enemy soldier, for whatever reason, that it followed him until quiet literally his moment of death is so heartbreaking and so unfair. How many sleepless nights did this poor man and so many others suffer through?

A client of mind charged with white collar crimes got reamed by a lazy, stupid and incompetent jury. They assumed because he was a white male in his late 60s, that he must've hired a rich-ass lawyer who knew all the "tricks". He was not allowed to introduce into evidence that he had never been rich or wealthy, that he was bankrupt, and that his lawyer was a lowly paid public defender.

The jury later said things such as, "that guy was just one more white guy getting away with thins like Enron and the bank collapse and to hell with him."

My guy was actually not involved in any wrongdoing, and the two other women who WERE embezzling and involved in a pyramid scheme claimed "ignorance" and that they were just "stupid women" (they were self-made, wealthy women) and they got slaps on the wrist while my client is rotting in a Fed prison at age 72 in poor health.

No joke. When I still lived in the US, I'd have horrible panic attacks (and thus higher pain levels) each month I had to get a Refill Inquisition. The stress of "will they cut me off today which will force me into withdrawal and I'll have to choose from suicide or street drugs" developed into a form of PTSD.

Can you leave your mom? Or are you financially stuck? I had a suicide attempt from chronic pain and obviously I backed off at the last minute.

Chronic pain is a fucking evil in itself. But toss in a parent who doesn't take it seriously or is not a good person, or only concerned with their own self? Recipe for torture unless you can gt out.

Now that you are in the US, is there any public/city-assistance for independent living available to you that would allow you to break away from your mom?

There is nothing more morale-destroying when you are sick, need a diagnosis or care, and the best hospitals in a rich, medically-advanced country refuses or claims they can't care for you. I begged and pleaded and went bankrupt in the process of trying to get spinal tumors treated for 5+ years in the 'best' hospitals in California. All shat on me. I flew to France with 2 weeks left to live, I was not yet a citizen and only had my credit cards to pay for whatever they could offer me. They took me in, saved my life, and charged me a piddly 5k for everything (all the CTs, MRIs, surgeries, meetings, calls at home, meds,....everything.) Now I live here in France as a citizen, and cannot tell you what a relief is is to not have that insurance/health care worry on top of the chronic pain, exhaustion and everything else that comes with a major illness.

If you are desperate, and in any way can get to France or Germany, maybe you can get the help you need there. You have my empathy, and I hope you find a solution.