DownsideOfComedy

Hi, Mr Palahniuk, I don't really have a question, more of a 'thank you' than anything. Thank you for all the amazing words you've written and the stories you've created. I'm sure you hear a lot of this, but your books have changed my life. Everything you write feels like you're punching me in the gut with words, and I guess I'm a masochist because all I want is for you to punch me harder. I first read Fight Club when I was fourteen after my mother got sick of the depths of my teenage agnst and gave it to me, telling me that was where I was heading if I kept brooding the way I did. I have never felt more complimented in my life. From that moment on I've been obsessed. I've read all your books a bunch of times (and I think Rant is criminally underrated, no one ever gets my time travel/rabies jokes when I crack them), and I always find something new in them that I can take away and hold in me for the rest of my life. Invisible Monsters, in particular. No other book before or since has affected me quite as much as Invisible Monsters does. The way that you can turn the world into this horrifying place, but still make it funny and occasionally touching always managed to make me feel better no matter how bad things get. Your words always make me feel so much less alone. Your words made me work on becoming a better writer. You are grotesquely, hilariously, depressingly, nauseatingly good at what you do, and I look forward to seeing you do more of it for as long as you can.

So again, thank you. And now I have to run to work, thanks for making me late, dude.

Also, I know you're probably not reading this any more, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to get chickens soon and all of their names are going to be Cluck Palahniuk.

Good.

The speech you directed to Abbott was utterly perfect. "Awkward and revolting" is the best description of Tony Abbott's leadership I have ever heard. Congratulations and good luck.

I can give you the tl;dr- Eat shit, Abbott.