Dilinial

I moonlight as a doorman, I'm also a nurse and an emt and currently working on my bachelor's degree. It's kind of offensive when people have that "Wait, you're not stupid?" moment.

You're not alone. Fight the power brother.

My dad's not a phone! DUH!

I've got a guy that only works on the special days (new years, Saint Party's, and festivals) that's 5'0" and that wide also. He's a beast. Just learned that Patty's autocorrects to party's with Swype, seems legit.

Similar situation except my rescuers were some old veterans who I know from swapping war stories (also known as lies and exaggeration). One was a SEAL and another a Ranger so they were at least badass old men. Still haven't lived that down...