DanieleB

Good morning, Mr. Flescher, and thank you to you (and your grandchild) for doing this! I'm sure it must be painful to revisit.

My question is regarding the period leading up to the true horrors of your capture and detainment. (Such a bland word for such horrific conditions!) I realize you were very young at the time, but does anything stand out in your mind as a warning that something truly awful was happening? What indications did people have, or should they have had -- both Jew and Gentile -- that this was more than just setting up ghettos and segregating populations?

Haec credam a Deo pio, a Deo iusto, a Deo scito? Cruciatus in crucem. Trus in terra servus, nuntius fui, officium perfeci. Cruciatus in crucem. Eas in crucem.

Latin translation for those who don't have it: "I give thanks to you, O Lord. Am I really to believe that these are the acts of a loving God? A just God? A wise God? To hell with your punishments. I was your servant here on Earth. And I spread your word and I did your work. To hell with your punishments. To hell with you!"

That, plus the windblown scene in the Oval Office with not-Dolores-Landingham at the end (that wide panning shot showing him talking to an empty room -- chills) ... easily one of my all time favorite 45 minutes of television.

(Note: Can't take credit for the translation, I always have to look it up, despite knowing the sense.)

I'm in an interesting position to respond to this. My husband (48) is diagnosed. So are our children, who are 15 and 22. They were not diagnosed in order. That is, 15 was diagnosed first due to profound anxiety, especially around eating. That prompted hubby to seek diagnosis and treatment (which explained a lot about our marriage, and probably saved it), and his dx finally prompted us to seek dx and treatment for 22. So as you can see, I've been surrounded by Aspie behavior for a long time.

It's not uniform. You sound like you've had an incredibly difficult and painful life. I see reflections of that in my husband and now in 22. But 15 seems to be having a much easier go of it. Anxiety in all three is prompted by different triggers, and the background anxiety is present to different extents. Some require profound medical mediation. Some don't. All have profound capacity for empathy, though some feel it more for people close to them, and less for a wider circle. Some actively seek out group association frequently, some cautiously, but all enjoy and desire it on their own terms. They have widely divergent interests and talents. Some are highly intelligent, some just average. All have had some degree of success overcoming some profound, even crippling anxiety through repetition and exposure therapy.

And that's just my three.

OP is young yet. The humiliation of his public gaffe is still fresh, and he hasn't yet had much time to make the kinds of life changing errors you and I have seen. The fact of your pain does not negate his, and you do not have a monopoly on the Aspie experience. Not all are doomed to misery and loneliness, and plenty of NTs hit that sad mark too. Some of us get dealt a really crappy hand. It's not fair. But it doesn't mean you can't be happy. At least it certainly doesn't mean that to 15, and both 22 and hubby are really really trying, and at least partially succeeding.

Edit: stupid mobile keyboard