DaleshasLife

Well, I do have some vision. Because of this, I do see in my dreams. But, I will say that my friends who are totally blind, only hear in their dreams. Those with no vision at all have no visual information for their subconscious to use when creating dreams.

The most important thing I want people to understand is that having partial vision, or none at all, does not mean that that person "can't" do something--it just means that he or she needs to find an alternative method to reach that goal. Yes, a legally blind person may need help, but let him or her ask for it--don't assume he or she needs it.

The biggest misconception is that all blind or partially blind people "need" assistance. The assumption that he or she can't do anything for himself has to be at the top of the list. In addition to this, many people also believe that we can't speak for ourselves or can not hear well. For example, when Manny and I are at a fast food restaurant, because he wears glasses the employee taking our order will ask him what I want--instead of asking me. Even though we both see about the same, Manny uses glasses and I use a white cane when we go out in public. When people see my cane, they assume I can't see--but when people see Manny's glasses, they assume they fix whatever visual problems he may have.

Well, I'd say that assuming a person who clearly has a disability may need assistance isn't a bad thing. But, there are two key points to emphasize there: 1) The person "may" need help. 2) The person may not want help. Those being noted, and recognizing that each person and each situation is different, asking is always best because it implies that the person asking isn't certain and allows the legally blind person to say no thank you. The worst experiences I've had are when I ask for assistance at a store and the employee grabs my arm and pulls me--as opposed to asking how he/she could best assist me.

As crazy as it sounds, both Manny and I would probably say that having to ask for help so often is the most difficult thing actually. I don't necessarily mind asking for assistance--at a store let's say--when I'm trying to find something, but the idea that I have to ask for help so often is kind of frustrating to accept. I think Manny put it best when he said to me once, as we went to get a taxi after landing in Orlando some years ago. The area was so congested, and the signs were so small, that we had to ask an airport employee to help us find a taxi. After we got into the taxi, Manny told me that it bothered him to think that even though he had purchased our condo in cash at the age of 21, he still couldn't do something as simple as getting a taxi by himself as (at the time) a 24-year-old man. A person who is 40 years old, and has never been disciplined enough to save money and purchase his own home would find this task menial and could do it half asleep. Asking for help is sometimes difficult when you see that so many others don't need to do it.

And with respect to how sighted people could help in this situation I guess I'd say that if you see a person struggling, ask him or her if you can help. Sometimes, especially when you're young and insecure, it's hard to admit you need help.