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DEATH-BY-CIRCLEJERK480 karma

One step ahead of you, buddy.

Yo ass know, there be a a shitload of dem muthafuckas whoz ass want dem parts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Therez a shitload of bitta hustlas up there, we went ta a SAG thang, durin Oscar season you git all up in these thangs. They have tha entire cast onstage n' tha director, you be thinkin one of mah thugs will ask a question, biatch? Not one. These is playas whoz ass is straight-up pissed n' auditionin fo' tha director all up in tha same time. I dont know what tha fuck I brang ta tha pornos, I brang ta it, what tha fuck da thug writes. What I gots wit him, when dat schmoooove muthafucka had scrilla ta spend like up in Rushmore, biatch? I be thinkin I gave his ass confidence n' I fought tha playas whoz ass was skanky on set. I holla'd quit freakin' tha fuck up bout dis thang, I be bout ta make shizzle dis blasted happens. I be like a uncle, I don;t know what tha fuck I be like. Our thugged-out asses gotz a shitload of fun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We git all up in blast up in Newport n' a Newport mansion just ta have tha experience of it while we work, tha hustlas is there, tha editin is there n' our laid-back asses just slouch down n' have breakfast n' git all up in work yo. Dude loves ta live well n' he loves ta smoke yo. Dude hires a cold-ass lil cook yo, but basically means you can work 18 hours, somewhere round 7:30 n' then da thug wants 3 mo' scenes n' youre bustin tha math, then you smoke dinner at midnight n' its pimped out but you gotta work til 10 n' then yo ass is waitin ta shower, you woozy. Then you chill like a pimp. I give not a god damn thang ta tha porno but I be phat company. We've had pimped out success together, tha playas whoz ass work fo' his ass is slavishly devoted ta gettin it done n' makin shizzle his vision gets done up in dat way, there be a sort of some muthafuckas whoz ass git a special pass n' sometimes suggestions is pimped out yo. Dude don't like fly he prefers ground travel. I be spittin some lyrics ta you muthafuckas dis n' his schmoooove ass came all up in n' our crazy asses hit dat shiznit up in Gangsta Fe, we gotta git down ta dis train, so we kicked it wit these Mariachi crew, 8 violins n' a cold-ass lil couple big-ass boomboxes, they was striking! I holla'd OH COME ON, they had a layover, lets git suttin' ta eat, we gots pimped out Mexican chicken, we ate outdoors. Wes holla'd "I felt suttin' funky, when you opened tha door" n' tha whole train station just gots filled wit they beatz. Drop dis like itz hot! They played ta dem as tha train pulled away. Our thugged-out asses had one of mah thugs on tha film git married, n' we gots dis same bland all dem hoes crew ta blast dem wit music.

DEATH-BY-CIRCLEJERK151 karma

Google also takes 30% from play store transactions.

DEATH-BY-CIRCLEJERK70 karma

Jim Downey tells Norm MacDonald story:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6FaOjwxQKs

DEATH-BY-CIRCLEJERK31 karma

You should be mayor of Detroit.

DEATH-BY-CIRCLEJERK26 karma

What about Chris Farley?