Cookiemobsta

If you are on a midnight train traveling in an opposite direction from another train, and your train happens to be going an-ee-where, and you are a small town girl, you should try to find a city boy born and raised in south detroit that is on the same train to befriend.

SEE YOU GUYS I DID LEARN HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS

Thanks for being my first question! :)

Honestly, I think there were two big lessons that I learned from my lack of social skills.

• First, social skills are a skill, and like any other skill, they can be learned. If you want to cook and you go to a cooking class or just practice in the kitchen a bunch, you'll get better at cooking. The same thing is true for social skills. Connecting with other people isn't magical. You can learn how to make conversation, read body language, and see the world from the other person's perspective. So if you are struggling socially, don't give up! Try to improve a little bit every day, and you'll get way better over time.
• Second, some of the best people you'll ever meet are pretty awkward. Even if someone has poor social skills, they might still be generous and caring and awesome to be around. I think it's really sad how many socially awkward people are isolated and alone, and it's a double tragedy because they could be such awesome friends to people if others would just reach out to them! So basically the life lesson is don't judge people based on their social skills -- judge them based on their heart.

Interesting question :) Honestly, there's some days where I am afraid of that. Or like, I'm afraid that I've been able to blend in so far, but one day I'm going to start screwing up again and people will say HEY DANIEL WAS AWKWARD ALL ALONG LET'S REJECT HIM

But realistically, it's not something that I need to worry about. In the first place, I'm legitimately good at social skills. Like I'm not a social superstar or anything, but I know how to make conversation and read body language and do all of the things you need to do to fit in.

And in the second place (and this is important) I'm much better at choosing the groups that I want to fit into. I think there are some groups that are shallow and cruel and there are other groups that are loving and accepting. And I think even if I woke up tomorrow and I had lost all of my social skills, I would still be able to find people who would accept me for me, not for my social skills. (In fact, I can say for sure that all of my closest friends would still love me and accept me even if I became totally awkward.) So I guess if you're reading this and you don't feel like you have the social skills necessary to "fit in", I would hope that you would keep looking until you find people that will accept you even if you "stick out."

Unless you're a licensed professional, you can't :p. So if you think you might have Asperger's (or if you just struggle socially in general) I highly recommend that you book an appointment with a therapist.

However, there are some things that you can look for that suggest Asperger's. Basically, Asperger's has some other effects beyond just social awkwardness (for instance, people with Asperger's often have sensory sensitivity, an intense interest in a peculiar topic, stimming behavior, etc.) If it's just social awkwardness and you don't have any of the other Asperger's traits, then you probably don't have Asperger's.

There is however a diagnosis called Social Pragmatic Disorder, which is basically someone that has the Asperger's social impairment without the other details of Asperger's. (There's also social anxiety disorder, which is applicable if you primarily have anxiety rather than a lack of skills.)

However, I don't think it's always necessary to get a diagnosis. Lots and lots of people struggle socially, and that doesn't mean that there's something different about your brain. It might just mean that you had bad social experiences in the past, or you haven't had enough opportunity to practice, or social skills just don't come as naturally to you. So if you struggle socially, I would focus on getting better socially rather than figuring out what label applies to you.