ConspiracyTheoryDave

I'm the only one I'll allow to cut my hair. Currently on the heels of unraveling a conspiracy on how barbers sell strands of the hair they cut to shady corporations, who are cloning an army of slaves, brainwashed to only buy their line of products, replacing us one by one. One clone you will not find in that army is myself!

Hi, my names not Dave. I have tried to go to the doctor many times to get devices, most likely put in me by the government and/or aliens, removed. I believe these devices are used to track my every movement, and possibly my thoughts, and as you can probably tell, that is restricting in my line of work... which is not a conspiracy theorist trying to unravel the secret powers of the world. The reason I haven't gone to my doctor is out of fear that he is one of them. I was wondering if you have any tips on someone finding and removing foreign objects from their own body?