ColdPorridge

Just downvote the main thread, will reduce visibility

To be fair, Citizen Cane is pure Jabroni in every aspect by today's movie standards.

Fruit up the boot

Given your phrasing and the fact that we're dealing with /r/scotch here, I like to think the community, after much deliberation of many esteemed candidates, took a vote to send you as their ambassador to this thread to seek an answer to this question.

Instead of throwing a pot of boiling water into the extremely cold air, you could just throw a pot of orange soda and hope for the best.