How do you even begin to grieve when at every turn you just get more and more numb to the loss and failure?
I'm not gunna burden the full details of my story, but for the last 6 years every December I've lost a close family member/loved one. The one year It didn't happen, I myself got hospitalized leaving me with a permanent immunodeficiency/health issues. I keep walking into December more and more numb each year because I just expect at some point, something bad is going to happen. Just today I was told my last grandparent has hours left to live out of nowhere. Just woke up to it and all I did was laugh. Reading peoples posts/responses have been nice, but I feel pretty much no shock or sadness anymore. I just expect things to continue to go wrong because nothing has for years. I haven't grieved for the loss of my Mum, her father who died the exact same day as her 5 years later. My other grandfather, grandmother, or my own health. Not to even mention my fiancee left me a year ago leaving me with no support network at all. I don't feel anything, so how do I even start grieving?
Chaos350z8 karma
How do you even begin to grieve when at every turn you just get more and more numb to the loss and failure?
I'm not gunna burden the full details of my story, but for the last 6 years every December I've lost a close family member/loved one. The one year It didn't happen, I myself got hospitalized leaving me with a permanent immunodeficiency/health issues. I keep walking into December more and more numb each year because I just expect at some point, something bad is going to happen. Just today I was told my last grandparent has hours left to live out of nowhere. Just woke up to it and all I did was laugh. Reading peoples posts/responses have been nice, but I feel pretty much no shock or sadness anymore. I just expect things to continue to go wrong because nothing has for years. I haven't grieved for the loss of my Mum, her father who died the exact same day as her 5 years later. My other grandfather, grandmother, or my own health. Not to even mention my fiancee left me a year ago leaving me with no support network at all. I don't feel anything, so how do I even start grieving?
View HistoryShare Link