CanterburyTerrier128 karma2020-07-25 21:27:27 UTC
I'm not the ama person, but I thought I'd share. I'm a Dad, but a stay at home Dad. I have a young daughter. When she was younger, I would notice her playing with her vulva. So, we had the "some things we do in private" talk. I'm not going to stop nose picking or masturbation, so I taught her that she can pick her nose or touch her vulva in her bedroom or in the bathroom, but it's rude to do it in the living room or in public.
One day, we were both sitting on the couch. She was watching a show with me and decided, while I wasnt looking, to pull down her pants and start playing with her vulva. I decided I needed something a little more aggressive so I sat her down at the dinner table later and actually introduced the word "masturbation."
I wrote the talk (one of many many many small conversations we've had) out. Here is part of it. If you want me to share the rest I can:
"So, we’ve talked about sex before. Sex is a private activity between two people. People have sex because it feels really good. Sometimes, sex results in a baby. Mom and I have sex or there would be no baby sister. However, most of the time people have sex simply to share those really good feelings with each other.
But, you don’t need another person to give yourself good feelings similar to sex.
So, I wanted to talk about a new word called masturbation. Masturbation is when a man or woman, boy or girl touches their penis or vulva in order to give themselves those good sexual feelings."
TO WHICH MY DAUGHTER SAID, "EWWW!!"
To which I responded, "Well, you say that, but..."
So here's my theory. Unless you empower your kids with the word masturbation and what it is and why it makes adults feel uptight, they have no idea it is sexual. Letting my daughter know the word for what she was doing and that it was sexual in nature cut down on the behavior a lot. I don't specifically no why. I guess it's kinda like, you are doing a thing, that thing has a name, I see you doing it. Giving it a name helped my daughter.
Edit: She was six when we had this talk.
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CanterburyTerrier1 karma2020-07-25 21:52:18 UTC
Hmm, I wonder if there is an organization that views sex as a secretive, dirty thing which shouldn't be discussed? Like say, the Catholic Church or the Southern Baptist convention. Let's see, they don't seem to have any issue with child molestation, a high rate of premarital STI's, unexpected pregnancies, etc. Oh Wait!! Anyplace that views abstinence only education as a good idea or just not talking about sex at all has horribly high rates of all those things. If you don't talk about sex with your children, you are human misery consigning them to a miserable life. And, you definitely aren't a Christian, either.
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