Boylesque

Theatrical herpes. You know that it's gotten bad when you find glitter in your foreskin.

Sure! The most obvious awkward thing that happens fairly frequently is new performers coming on with very unpolished routines. If they can stay focused, it's not too bad, but every now and then they panic and run off early, with the music still playing and nothing but an empty stage... you just know they're going to beat themselves up about it later.

A step up from that you have the performers who have been doing it for ages, still manage to pull out performances that are just shit. did you know that it's possible to do a boring grinder girl act? I didn't. Now, I shudder every time I think about it.

Then, you have the occasional person who has come in with a background from performing at kink parties, and think that it's okay to start masturbating on stage. I'm not talking 'sexy performance feeling yourself up', I'm talking lips spread, playing with cucumbers. Doesn't happen very often though.

Finally, you have the performers who set out to make people feel horribly awkward, and make an artform out of it. We're talking creepy characters, visual rape jokes, and even one routine that involved sticking a flag up their ass and waving it in the air.

Backstage, there's not much awkward. Burlesque performers are generally really comfortable with their bodies, and anyone who's going to be a sleaze is not going to last long in the scene.

Hmmm... For a show, I've never been asked to do anything really awkward. Mostly you just get given a theme, and you get to work within that.

The awkward parts have been very drunk ladies (and occasionally guys) getting way too handsy after a show.

I have seen some pretty awkward things on stage though! Would you like to hear about them?

That it is. Burlesque change rooms are an explosion of undergarments, glitter and nonchalant nudity.

Highlights included a cross-dressing lesbian duo doing a Harry/Snape act, a brilliant battle between Bellatrix and Lupin (performed by two magicians), Professor McGonagall's obscenely saggy prosthetic breasts, Luna tripping out on LSD, Draco on schoolies, and Hagrid transforming into a dragon-lady.