Barry-Nalebuff

Similar to Voss, I'm not a fan of splitting the difference. People make arbitrary demands and halfway between two arbitrary points is still arbitrary. Voss and I agree that promising to provide a fair solution is a good strategy. The challenge is what is meant by fair. To my mind, the only fair result is figuring out what is the pie and splitting it evenly. That is the controversial point of my book. Note that splitting the pie is quite different than splitting the difference. The pie is the value created by a deal, not the difference between the bid and the ask.

Not sure I fully understand. But one thing I would do is change the way we teach math in schools. Way too much emphasis on geometry and trigonometry, and almost no time spent on data and data analysis. We are living in a world with huge amounts of data. If people have no ability to comprehend statistics, we end up with terrible ignorance and poor decisions.

Since you are thinking about starting a family, it seems like other things might matter. Life insurance, parental leave, healthcare. Other things that could matter are potential for promotions, bonus, need to travel, ability to WFM, ... Do you have a mentor at current firm? Does salary at rival firm allow you to start family? You could also ask current employer to help you solve your problem. Say that you love your current firm- the work, the work / life balance, the people, ... What can they do to help you be in a position where you can afford to start a family?

One thing I like to do in these situations is a "Yes, If." By that I mean if they are able to match the salary, then you are prepared to say yes. You are asking them to go the extra mile for you and they may be worried that you are going to leave in any case.

You can also ask them what you should do. They must appreciate that their salary is not competitive. They can't ask you to stay without giving you a big bump.

Do they really need to match? If they were to come in at $1k less, it seems like you would stay.

On the other hand, perhaps the new place really does appreciate you more.

p.s. How much do you know about what other folks make at your present company? How much can you find out before your meeting. Is there a good way to quantify the value you create at the firm.

Is there a reward you can give yourself for finishing?

Can you break it up into parts. When I'm writing a book, the task seems like it is way too hard at the start. Can't see the end. But if I commit to writing 1,000 words / day then I know I will be done in under 3 months. And 1,000 words seems manageable.

Also, having an outline can really help.

How long do you think it will take to complete?