BOYS_PM_ME_FEMBOYS

The CIA's history is comically bad. How much of it did you know before you joined?

They trafficked cocaine into their own country, overthrew numerous governments, have compromised computers run by elected officials that were trying to reign them in, the list goes on. Literal millions of lives lost because of the CIA's actions and destabilization of countries for generations, or the installation of morally reprehensible dictators.

I don't know how you, or anyone else for that matter, would ever want to work for them.

I'm including folks that dies through secondary causes. Folks executed by the death squads trained by the CIA, the folks who died in civil wars caused by the CIA, starvation caused by war, etc.

The CIA directly kills almost no one, especially after assination was banned.

Applies especially to jobs at large companies (or for), which is where most of the jobs in development are. Some companies are good. Indie companies tend to be good. Getting good jobs is hard because so many people have great passion and are willing to work in bad conditions to make games. The competition for good jobs is fierce. Smaller studios tend to have better conditions, they also do a lot of shitty not fun contract work to stay afloat.

https://kotaku.com/ubisoft-employees-have-grave-concerns-over-toronto-stud-1844277486

https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2018-10-25-the-human-cost-of-red-dead-redemption-2

https://www.polygon.com/2019/4/23/18507750/fortnite-work-crunch-epic-games

https://www.businessinsider.com/video-game-development-problems-crunch-culture-ea-rockstar-epic-explained-2019-5?op=1

I highly recommend you pursue something else and do games on the side. Get something high paying and go part time, do a overnight DSP job and work on games, something. The industry is brutal. Pay is low and hours are long as so many people want to do it so competition for bad jobs is feirce. There are like 20 games released per day on steam on average. Most of them lose money. 99% of games lose money. A good chunck of professionally made games lose money. It's a hit based industry and unless you have a large following online getting people to play your game for free is hard. Getting them to pay for it is harder.

Do modeling, or animation, or design, or programming. Or a job where you have no responsibilities (I did this for a year and picked up Linux administration and programming). Something where you can build a skill set to make better games. Do games on the side.

Changing your setting can help turn a rough trip around, of you're really worried bring a trip killer. Benzos work great and any antipsychotic will near completely stop the experience.

You want a good mindset, mood, friends, comfy clothes, and a safe comfortable environment. You'll have a blast.