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Attraus2 karma

I struggle with anxiety a lot. I am diagnosed with BPD, DID, GAD, and Panic Disorder. I do both mindfulness meditation, and transcendental meditation. I have had Derealization/Depersonalisation symptoms all my life, to a very extensive degree. I have read that meditation is supposed to help, yet it never seems to allow me to feel my body, and often after just a few minutes (provided it works in the first place) my vision goes back to the usual, grey veil, yadayada. How come it doesn't help like people say it should?