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ArchonOfPrinciple38 karma

Yeah usually I kind of hate on the US airport fiasco. But they are the only international destination u have passed through (only 8 hours) that read and kept a notarized original copy of the permission from my wife to travel with my son.

I later spent a week in Italy and 6 weeks in England (my home country) with my Chilean wife. And my son and two step sons (both of differing fathers with distinct nationalities) and in London they asked if I had the paperwork for all the boys. I said yes and they stamped us in before I could get it out.

Italy I assume is child trafficking heaven. Basically walked into the country and got stamped without anyone even checking the kids passport photos or names.

Some countries do that shit right but most barely care on departure never mind arrival.

ArchonOfPrinciple4 karma

So these might seem like odd questions, or might be answered if I did more research so excuse the ignorance if that is the case.

Firstly, was there a noticable physical aspect to your late daughter after birth and during her five months with you? Or other than the medical attention needed did she appear normal? This is honestly more a curiosity about the condition than anything else.

Secondly, do you or would you regret having her if you had known about the condition prior to birth, it may sound harsh so I am sorry if its offensive. But had you of known in advance do you think you would still have carried her to term? I ask because friends of mine found out within their countries legal term for regular abortion, and obviously the extended terms for medically necessary abortions that their child was missing most of their vital organs and would only survive hours at most post birth, and they still chose to carry him to birth. Its something we have discussed on many occassions both at the time and in the years since, and while I respect every parents process and decision it also breaks my heart to picture myself having done what they did and their photos of him are always a stark reminder when I spend time with them that I just cant get my head around it and think it would break me. Obviously for some context your regular stance on abortion is something I would like to know to quantify your answer. I again cant stress enough that if I am asking anything too offensive or personal feel free to pass.

Thirdly, do both parents need to be carriers or is there still a chance with just one? Again this is more a hypothetical question but asking someone who has had to consider some of these things and been through the experiences of the worst case scenarios seems the only way to gain any true perspective. I assume your daughter has been raised fully aware of her condition and will take the sames steps as yourselves should she choose to have her own children.

The final question is kind of a two parter with a small assumption on my part.

Mostly, how do you get over something like that, losing a child were it my first just seems insurmountable, I have been physically apart from my son for 1.5years now and its killing me, honestly the only reason I endure is for him, and the future and even then its far from manageable. And that is knowing he is healthy, not wanting for anything and able to video chat with me whenever either of us want. If something happened to him, from day 1 to right now, given my reaction to our seperation I am 100% I would not be able to go on in any reasonable state.

Do you feel having another child became your "purpose" or the light at the end of the tunnel, or had you processed the situation and accepted it before you began that journey? And if you couldnt have conceived a healthy child do you think you would have been able to push on?

I mean I am glad you did, and what you are now doing is amazing, but in your shoes I dont think I could of got there, and ultimately my questions are all kind of related to that fact.