Alysazombie

Thank you for posting this. I really appreciate your strength and ability to overcome the inability to react and actually make a difference. I hope you don't mind, I'd like to read your input and any guidance you may have for me.

When I was in highschool, my counselor called CPS because of the bruises I had all over my body. My stepmom had been abusing me since the day after my 5th birthday, this was the first time (I was 15) it had gotten physical. She held me up by my throat against my bedroom wall and slammed my body around a bit.

She has two other children. The cops and CPS both inspected my body, all the marks and bruises as well as interviewed her, my dad and me.

Nothing happened. I eventually got kicked out of my father's house because he finally gave in to her wishes. Every time she got mad at me and couldn't "deal" with me, she'd scoop up her other two kids and stay in a hotel, until I wasn't there anymore. After her third attempt, it worked. My dad dropped me out of highschool and bought me a plane ticket to fly me out to live with my mother the very next morning.

I'm 26 now and I'm still struggling with navigating my perception and how I think and feel about everything. I recently stayed with my Dad (and his wife) over the summer and it was okay at first... But then it seemed to turn into how I was "ruining their family" all over again. I have a lot of different mental health issues and honestly life has just been overwhelming. Now, I can barely handle my own head most days. I'm still recovering from this past Summer's experience on top of all my confusing feelings and thoughts surrounding my family and myself.

What can I do to start healing, understanding and moving forward? I don't have any health insurance and feel so stuck.

Thanks

Thank you for your response. I really appreciate everything that you're doing and wouldn't mind sharing my story on your blog. People used to tell me growing up that I too would be writing a book someday. It's weird how some people react to children/young adults sharing their experiences of abuse.

The YouTube videos sound legit, I'll definitely check that one out. I just need to get myself back into my art. That always seemed to reignite the light inside of me.