AintGotNoTimeFoThis

The "probes" will last as long as the statute of limitations...

No evidence found because it has all been thoroughly destroyed

What could we do for a mother's day adventure using the backyard, the house, and maybe the neighborhood?

Fart rape.

"By farting louder the man is using passive aggressive violence to position himself as dominant, this intimidates the woman to subconsciously not release as much flatulence and thus the woman fearing for her safety doesn’t fart as loud as a sign of submissiveness, this in turn contributes to rape culture and women being oppressed."

https://thewaterpipe.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/can-a-fart-be-misogynist/

In all seriousness, my gut reaction is to think that running the city would be a waste of your talents as a reporter. You are amazing at what you do, truly gifted. But in this case, I don't know. You are clearly passionate about the city, you seem to understand the people and are instantly respected in return. It looks like Detroit needs help from the top and the bottom to move forward, and you may be the only one who could bring these groups together with a plan.

Because no man is an island, you're going to need to get a team in there with you. Do some research, recruit people with experience running a city to run with you. Market yourself as the Detroit Relief Squad or something and get down to business.

Need campaign funds? Just ask Reddit. We will gladly kick-start your campaign.

I know this job would be a huge sacrifice and risk, however, what options does the city have? The rewards? I can't imagine a better use of ones time on this planet than restoring basic living conditions to a once great city and setting it on a course in the right direction.