Aarrrgggghhhhh35

Hi Toni,

thank you for sharing yourself with all of us and answering so many of these questions, which must take loads of energy.

To answer your question, when my grandmother died of cancer many years ago, I found it a great comfort to find her handwriting here and there. She wrote on the back of pictures, cards, in letters, etc. It’s such a visceral way to connect with her.

Maybe hand write some notes to your children to find later. Or maybe a card for each birthday up to 18, which they can open each year.

Another thing that connected me to my grandparents was smell. Once my grams died, I never smelled her smell again. I can’t remember what perfume she wore but I’m pretty sure it was White Diamonds, and if I ever smell it I know it will take me back to fond memories of her.

Once, and only once, when I was in a store, an elderly man passed me and he smelled exactly like my grandfather. I never knew what cologne he wore, but I wish I did.

I don’t know if you wear cologne or a specific scented oil or lotion, or if you like a certain kind of flower, but smell is so closely related to memory. It might be nice to collect some sensory items like this for your kids, so they can take a whiff and think of you.

I really appreciate your optimism and the matter-of-fact way you’re dealing with death. Everyone must die but, like so many, I am afraid of dying. I feel like we’ve gotten so far away from it for a variety of reasons that we can’t cope when we are confronted with it. Thanks for your insight. It’s something I’ll be thinking about for some time.

Wishing you peace and overwhelming joy and happiness.

Not sure if you’re still answering but I just wanted to say that this AMA has been awesome. It definitely makes me think of the words ‘boldness’ and ‘courage.’ You have to be bold enough and courageous enough to follow through with satire because there are always those who just don’t get it, and you leave yourself open to criticism and (worst case scenario) arrest/death/the legal system. How do you get over any reservations you might have and find the courage to put your work out there?

Thanks for answering my question! Looking forward to more of your work!