5-4-3-2-1-bang

I don't get it.

Though I don't expect them to open source Watson (at least, not for a few years), IBM has contributed a lot of code back to open source projects.

[VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING]

My favorite comic of yours is my favorite not because you made me laugh...

...but because you made me cry.

It was dog that did it. I used to have a dog, called her Sam. One of the best dogs ever, was my constant companion. She was the type of dog whose foibles made her feel so human that there was no way you couldn't love her. She'd come over and plop her head in your lap, in a "please pet me, come on, I'm so furry and lovable you just know you want to" way. Every night, she'd make the rounds of the family, checking in to make sure everyone was in bed, before sleeping at the foot of the bed of whoever was least senior (and therefore needed the most protecting) for the night. She'd check out all my girlfriends when I brought them over, either being immediately friendly and winning over even non-dog-loving girls, or shunning them entirely (and as it turns out, was an excellent judge of character). And she could put a mean chase on a laser pointer!

But like your dog, I too feared that Sam was retarded. I had read the list of dog tests to determine your dog's intelligence in a magazine (remember those?), and one night decided to try it out. They were slightly different but essentially the same. Like your dog, she tried ever so hard at passing each test, but never really 'got' any of them in a meaningful way. Reading your comic brought back the memories in almost frightening detail, as the testing method, the dog's bewildered but lovable reactions, and my reactions were nearly identical to my experience. And for this I both thank and curse you, because it made me remember.

You see, there was an accident. My parents would take Sam out for a walk every morning, while us kids were still getting ourselves sorted out for school. That morning was like every other typical morning; I was tired from staying up way too late the night before and was brushing my teeth. I can still remember the sound...

...you know the sickening sound of car tires screeching hard, then of a car crunching into something when it's in an accident? That sound.

Turns out my parents had been crossing the road right by our house, with Sam beside them. Some drunk asshole came through and either didn't notice or didn't care that he was going way too fast to make the left, and oh by the way you're about to mow down a dog and two people. He plowed through Sam, hit my mom, and clipped my dad.

It's amazing how fast you wake up when you hear that sound.

I ran out of the house to find the dog lying on the ground, my mom lying on the ground, my dad hovering over my mom, and the car smashed into a tree. (If my dad had been a half stride behind where he was, he would have been pinned between the car and the tree.) I remember three ambulances showing up (one for drunk asshole, one for my mom, and one for my dad), but the dog wasn't their concern. So while they loaded my parents and asshole into ambulances, my sister and I scooped up Sam into a blanket and raced her off to the vet. I remember having a freak out moment on the ride when we were trying to figure out whether all the blood in the back was coming from the dog, or had been from my mom.

I haven't thought about that day (or even Sam) for a long, long time. But sometimes it takes someone reliving their close-enough-to-yours-to-be-shared memory to unlock the gates, to get you back in touch with feelings you intentionally had forgotten, and to force you to make peace with what happened. And for that, I thank you.

Or cocaine!